Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Not sure if I have posted this before.  It is Waif looking Waiflike.

She looks like the model for ASOS, Cara.  Sometimes people stop her in the street and ask her.   In fact, this could BE Waif:

First Recovery Breakfast

I didn't get much chance to talk to Waif last night as she was out with her boyfriend until about 7.30pm.  I had supper ready - lightly dusted and fried lemon sole,  ratatouille and some new boiled potatoes (not the most calorific meal, I admit, but I was going to insist on pudding and had planned it and shopped for it before taking in the news that Waif needed feeding up again).  But Waif claimed to have already eaten a pizza and a pudding out at Pizza Express with BF.  She agreed nonetheless to eat a small piece of fish and ratatouille.  BF incidentally is stick thin but that is probably because he has used all his energy growing to 6ft 4 in the last couple of years.

This morning, Waif happily ate 2 fishfingers in 2 pieces of wholemeal bread.  I said that she ought to have something else too - cereal, say, but she said that I needed to give her time to adjust as she was very full.  That seems reasonable but I will be making her have a hot chocolate (well, strongly encouraging) when she gets in from school even though for the last few months she has said that she no longer likes them.

Ho hum, the dog was happy:  he got the spare 2 extra fishfingers I had cooked.

I feel bad that I had not noticed, or had willfully ignored, Waif's weight loss and had to have it pointed out to me by a shocked Older Daughter.  I suppose one just gets used to things and I have become used to Waif being too thin.  She is actually only now about the weight she was aged 11 or 12 before she first lost weight, and was about 15cm smaller.  She was a perfect weight back then, but now needs to be aiming at 55kg.  I would settle for 51kg frankly (8 stone).

Sigh, I guess it is in the same way that we are all now used to Waif's great aunt having been (unfairly) sentenced to life for murder earlier this year.  Now there's a throw away line and a whole new blog.....

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Advice from The Maudsley Hospital

I spoke to Waif's psych.  Apparently Waif was over 49kg when discharged in July so has lost nearly 3kg since then.  Hmmm...that would seem quite good going even for someone on a diet and def not acceptable for someone who is supposed to be trying to gain weight still.  The Psych said to talk to Waif and lay the cards on the table:  she has lost weight and needs to regain it.  If she doesn't do that in a month then we will be going back to hospital visits.  I really, really, really hope that does the trick.  I am suddenly frightened again - what if she loses more weight between now and then?  She is in dangerous territory.

Waif went ton the new Westfield Stratford  (aka Eastfield) at the weekend and bought loads of lovely clothes.  I will have to repay her when --if-- she grows out of them otherwise that will be too much of a disincentive.


The good news was that Waif was signed off at her last visit to the Maudsley, back in July.  She had not reached her target weight of 100% of weight for age and height (which was about 53kg) but was at about 48.5kg which was just out of anorexic range and she seemed stable.  We have to let Waif fight this battle alone ultimately.  The psych said that the good thing was that we had not been monitoring Waif's food intake so she had done this herself.

I did express a worry that from the research that I had read, the lower the permissible "final weight" was, the more chance there was of relapse as the sufferer then perceives this weight to be a maximum rather than a minimum, and we had little room for manoeuvre.  I was reassured that as Waif is so young (she is now just 15), we have access to the Maudsley Youth Service for a good few years ahead and could get back in touch anytime.

Anytime may be here.  This morning, Older Sister told me that she saw Waif after her bath and she looked terribly thin.  I have had nagging worries for a few weeks myself so this was enough of a wake up call for me to ask Waif to stand on the scales - something I have not done for about 9 months.  She was 46.1kg.  I may call the Maudsley for advbice as they are there.  I will also talk to Waif tonight and agree some kind of deadline with her - I cannot impose on her now she is so grown up, but she is a very clever girl (A* in the GCSE she took early this year, since you ask) and sometimes sensible, so if I lay out the facts clearly she will see that she needs to put on weight, and if she cannot do it alone then she needs to seek more help.

She is such a lovely girl - so independent, hard working and thoughtful, as well as interesting and kind company, I do hope that this is merely a blip..