Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Weight and Oxbridge

Prompted by Diana and the passage of time, here is an update.

How is Waif doing?  Hmmm...being a bit grumpy and looking very thin is one answer, sadly.  Getting in to a top London school for Sixth Form and still being the light of my life is another.

Possibly against my better judgment and because I am far from perfect, I renewed Waif's gym membership.  I decided that if I don't and if she is determined then she will merely exercise some other way (eg walking to school secretly).  She always stays late after school to "do art".  How would I know if she were actually going to the school gym?  I hope not but I can never know.  She will still eat when prompted and just about everything I put in front of her - she is very obliging and good BUT will make all sorts of excuses to trade high calorie items and/or skip the between meal snacks.

Last week, she definitely tried cigarettes which made her feel sick.  I can't get excited about smoking (even thought I loathe it with a passion) when she still has eating issues.  As long as she eats I don't care about anything else.

I am so proud of her school offer, but am holding off on a decision:  on the one hand, she deserves a first class education as she is clearly a very bright girl and I would hesitate to deprive anyone of that.  OTOH she did not cope at the last high pressure girls' school she was at so why on earth am I contemplating sending her to another?

The school in question has a very good supportive approach to anorexics (unlike Waif's last school which just told her to leave) which is a good sign.

Meanwhile, I took Older Daughter to her Cambridge interview on Monday.  In the hotel dining room, were numerous pairs of mothers and teen offspring looking both smart and nervous and clearly all there for the same reason.  Amongst them was a girl so thin I just wanted to hug her and advise her to chase her dreams of Cambridge but first she had to EAT or she would not even be living that long  :-(  :-(   It is so hard as a bystander to understand WHY anorexics don't eat.  It can't be to look better because below a certain weight people look awful - bony, drawn, even - I hesitate to say it - repulsive.  So what is it?  OD reckons it is that they look at one part of themselves eg their stomach and decide that THAT part is too fat and diet until (never) that part is acceptable to them without looking at the whole picture.  The irony is that on starvation rations, one will never have a flat stomach due to some kind of protein osmosis (OD told me the details, but I forget).

I don't want Waif to be that skeletal girl having breakfast before her Oxford interview in 2 years' time.

Meantime here are some pics:

I was cleaning out the kitchen cupboards........

We have been looking at old photos and organising the computer files.  This one made me laugh.  We have three cats and a dog and this cat has cattitude for sure.

More heart tugging are old photos of Waif, before she got too too thin, where she looks healthy and happy.  Where is she hiding?