Not sure if I have posted this before. It is Waif looking Waiflike.
She looks like the model for ASOS, Cara. Sometimes people stop her in the street and ask her. In fact, this could BE Waif:
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A journal of a fight against anorexia, and the fading of my now 14 year old daughter. She was only 12 when it first began. I wanted to make Waif real again, substantial. 18 months on, Waif has regained some presence in this world and I am prepared to grab her to keep her from dimming once more. The Maudsley has been a godsend but mostly it has been hard work, the most worthwhile work we have ever done.
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About Me
- Hope Springs
- London
- This blog is not about me, it is about my darling daughter and our journey together. She is thirteen and fading away before my eyes. I am hoping this journal will help me straighten my thoughts, keep a log and help her thrive.
I am so happy to see your posts again, but very sad of the circumstances. Your attentiveness and love has not wavered though, you are still there for your beautiful daughter when she needs you, even if she is unable to ask for help.
ReplyDeletePlease know that no matter how much she refuses certain foods or seems to be avoiding meals that there is something in her that would love to have the okay and freedom to eat what you're advising her to. If she is in the early stages of relapse (which you've noticed and caught already!) I know she is feeling quite conflicted. Restriction is that hardest and MOST uncomfortable when your body isn't used to it anymore. Eventually, after repeated behaviors your body gets to a point where it really doesn't feel hungry anymore. But, if she is just going from eating well again to restriction, her body isn't used to a lack of food yet and I guarantee you that SHE wants to continue eating, ed just isn't allowing it.
Your daughter and family will be constantly present in my thoughts. If you ever need anyone to talk to please don't hesitate to reach out. I'd love to help in anyway I could.
Sarah
Upon scrolling through your posts, I have become very disturbed by the current lack of meals to exercise ratio. Exercise (cycling, swimming, running, netball, yoga ANYTHING) should NEVER be allowed if Waif doesn't finish her meals. Only 100% of meals should make exercise a doable activity. Waif has been dipping up and down for over 2 years now yet I see that her exercise remains on the most part stable. But Waif needs to finish her meals if she is to exercise.
ReplyDeleteI do hope and pray that Waif recovers and I believe you are a very strong woman but you must again remember, to kick this disease, you must be STRICT AND KIND. Waif may resist, and will be EVER so hard, but she will thank you later.
Stay strong and don't give up.
Leah
Is this post seriously going to do Waif any good?? I have voiced my concerns to you periodically for almost two years now and begged you to take the anorexia more seriously. You are, unfortunately still unable to do so.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to be so harsh, but you need a wake up call, once again.
This is what I feared would happen, this cycle of Waif improving then going backwards, as you seem to think other things are more important than her ultimate long term health.
I have followed your blog for several months but I've never commented on here before.
ReplyDeleteI have an Eating Disorder, BED, not as severe as yours daughter's anorexia obviously.
I am quite concerned about her weight loss. It means it's time to take some control of the situation. I don't mean by that forcing her to eat junk food/ healthy food/ whatever food under your command. I mean that you must keep an eye on her, and be "lovelingly tough" so that she doesn't fall back again.
And this boyfriend should be aware of her ilness because if Waif really is relapsing than she will use as an excuse not to eat. He must know so that you can both protect her. Your daughter is not thirteen anymore and as she is older her excuses have probably improved. If Older Daughter noticed "how skinny" Waif was, please take an action. Talk to her, expose your fears, remind her that she needs to gain weight in order to have her life back. Because I can assure you that if she feels like she can get away wiht it, believe me, she will.
My best friend has anorexia so I know how sneeky, perfeccionist, determined, self-centered but at the same time generous and specially gifted anorexics are. Your daughter is beautiful but if you "let her be"(as many would say) she will die.
Sorry for the bad English, I'm Portuguese and 18 years old. (Not sure if you know Portugal but its oldest alliance is with England. And if you're still not seeing it, google "Algarve" or "AlLgarve" as you would pronouce it)
Wishing you and Waif and Older Daughter the best!
Diana (international name - named after Enid Blyton's collection ;)
Thank you to all my commentators - I really really appreciate your insight. I am sorry I seem so hopeless to some of you. Yes, I need to be more firm. I am too used to Waif being in charge and I have to learn to be the strict adult. Waif needs me to do that for her. It's tough as in so many circumstances she seems so utterly in control and insightful and wise, but on this she is way off and I need to get her back onto the straight and narrow. I am conflicted always between respecting her autonomy as a human being, and her right to determine her own life path, and allowing her to be so self destructive. I have to keep telling myself that controlling her food intake whilst she is in the grip of an ED is actually an act of love and not one of manipulation.
ReplyDelete