Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Update at nearly 18

Waif continues to thrive.  She is about to tackle her A2 examinations.  At nearly 18, anorexia is becoming such a distant memory that sometimes I forget that the ONLY important thing is that she is alive, well and happy, and that I must not put her under too much academic pressure.  I need to read this blog occasionally and remind myself of that.  The 24/7, minute by minute worry of eating and health was so all consuming and so heartbreakingly painful at the time, and yet, like childbirth, so forgotten in the present.  Waif is now a confident, funny, wilful young woman, but then (sigh) she was like that before anorexia struck and yet it did not make her immune.

 If Waif gets her grades, she will be at Oxbridge in the Autumn.  I hope that she has been in recovery for long enough to be able to cope with the pressure, and am glad that it is only 90 minutes drive away so regular visits are feasible if needed.  I worry that if she fails her offer grades then that could throw her into a tailspin of self doubt and the result is that I am again tempted to tell her to do some more work.   Really I should just be so very very proud of her and not worry about the future.  I still, and always will, love her with such unconditional feeling and heart.  I know this is how all mother's feel but I can honestly say that her well being, and that of her big sister, is the most important part of my soul.