I am now not quite sure how to deal with the situation: whilst I had mentioned to the new Headmaster that I was worried about how thin the Waif was, I did not out and tell him immediately that she is being treated at the Maudsley. That's not really a first date topic.
So before I accept the place, I guess I need to put all my cards on the table and ensure that there will be flexibility for Waif to attend medical appointments and for me, if necessary, to come in and supervise her lunch - as the school is much nearer home, and as I am on sabbatical, that would now be a feasible option. OTOH I don't want them to take fright and withdraw the place!
I am even wondering whether I can persuade Waif onto the scales tonight and tell her that she is not starting at ANY school next term unless she is over, say, 39kg - she has 4 weeks to get there so that is an achievable goal (she was 37.2kg when last weighed clothed a fortnight ago). I am hopeful that the lure of the new school and the embarrassment of not being able to start on the first day will prove to be sufficient persuasion for her to really give it a go, and will also ensure that she has the energy to cope when she is actually there.
I also need to talk to the HM of her current school - about notice payments and about leaving the door open for her to return if matters don't improve at the new school.
So I have a few logistical problems but, in the round, I am overjoyed, and hopeful that this will prove to be a turning point. I certainly hope so - last night the Waif was up on stage reading out a poem at Poetry Evening at school and looked so emaciated next to her healthy weight classmates. It makes me realise that even Older Daughter is too thin (hmmm...... not helped by Waif following her round the house with snacks and drinks and trying to persuade her to eat all the time ad telling me that OD has not finished her meals which has the opposite effect).
yes, don't make a hard rule that you aren't going to go through with: if on Jan 5th you find her happier, positive about the new start, but still only 38kg are you going to make her stay at home?
ReplyDeleteWhat actually *would* decide you to keep her at home? It's hard to really specify in advance, so perhaps don't. But I do agree that she needs to take on board that - at the end of the day - she needs a minimum std of health to start/stay at any school.
be careful with your older daughter.. maybe get Waif to back off, stop telling her to eat all the time.
ReplyDeleteits not healthy for both of them.
i hope all goes well with the new school,
love katie.
x
What do I know: yes, you are right, I will just focus on helping Waif to gain as much weight as possible. The pscyh today recommended that she stop her Saturday morning training as that might not be helping. She will miss that but it will be worth it if it helps her to gain weight faster.
ReplyDeleteKatie: I have approached it from the other direction and told OD to ignore it when Waif brings her food. OD asked why Waif was doing it and I explained that it was part of her illness. I have also told Waif that OD can eat as much or as little as she likes because she is normal weight, and that she (Waif) only has to eat what I say because she is ill and underweight. I hope that will do the trick.
Thanks for the god wishes for the new school. I have spoken to quite a few parents now who all say that it is a remarkably happy school, which is a great omen.