Well, that went well :-)
Waif has put on 0.9kg in a fortnight. The psych is pleased that Waif has hit puberty and said that was a very good sign. She said that 47kg is a magical figure at which periods start and that Waif must indeed be naturally a very slim build as her hormones kicked in below that. She said that, in view of the fact that Waif is naturally skinny (like the rest of the family) she would be content to see Waif at 95% of her healthy weight. I have mixed emotions about this ...partly, I am grateful as I don't think Waif would be happy to be 100% and would consider herself chubby and that could trigger renewed dieting, but partly I am worried as all I have read indicates that the goal weight achieved and aimed at is very important to long term recovery as the sufferer tends to see it as a MAXIMUM never to be exceeded rather than a median point to oscillate around.
So, we asked the obvious question as to what 95% weight for age/height would be for Waif. We were told that, very roughly, you take 110 off someone's height in cm, and that gives you their ideal weight in kg. So, Waif is 165cm which gives about 55kg. Of course, her target figure is actually a bit less as she is only 14 and we are not going for 100% In fact her 95% goal turns out to be 51.5kg, rising to 54.2kg if she grows another 3 cm.
The psych is keen to discharge Waif within 6 months (with follow ups thereafter) and our next appointment is not to be for another 8 weeks. Bliss.
Ok, confession: Waif and I were each asked to fill in a questionnaire. We both did so and I asked Waif whether she wanted to take them back to reception. She said she wanted me to do that. Reader, I am only human and sneaked a quick look at Waif's answers. She had put that generally the psych understood her and asked the right questions and that she never felt inhibited by having her parents in attendance. I hope she is being honest as that is good news,but you never can tell with Waif as she always wants to please and could well have answered "as expected" rather than truthfully.
On balance, Waif appears to be enjoying life and all it has to offer. She is also eating regularly and sufficiently. I couldn't be happier if I had won the lottery.
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Great to hear about your daughter's progress, especially that she's enjoying life. How wonderful! I can understand your mixed feelings about the whole "goal weight" thing. I like the broader view of recovery taken here. http://www.maudsleyparents.org/recovery.html
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to hear she is doing well and that your appointment went well.
ReplyDeleteThe whole "goal weight" thing is very difficult. You're very smart to fear her viewing that weight as a maximum that can never be exceeded. I am still working on wrapping my mind around this too.
Another thing is that, when she does approach whatever maintenance weight is deemed appropriate for her, you may want to check that she still is eating sufficiently. I relapsed in my anorexia 2 years ago and it had a lot to do with having reached my maintenance weight and suddenly feeling like I had no right, reason, or excuse to eat anymore after that. I was where they wanted me to be, so I could stop consuming food. Clearly this is very disordered. I don't mean to worry you at all and I hope has not even considered this, but I hope you'll pay attention to it just in case.
You and your family are in my thoughts!
Sarah
Hello,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear (/read) what your daughter has had to suffer through.
I went through the worst of it over a year ago, losing close to 15 kg in less than a year. Without going into too much detail, a doctor realised what was going on and urged me to see a nutritionist who helped me immensely and I've been at a healthy weight for awhile now.
While time to time I'll be tempted to slip back into old habits, I am far from where I was and am actually extremely happy.
Thank you so much again, and if you or your daughter ever need someone to talk to I'm happy to oblige.
All my best xxx
*Anonymous*, thank you, I like that definition of recovery. We have passed some of those milestones: Waif is now dating and we def have text messaging at the table and arguments, or at least discussions, over curfews! It is a luxury to have worries other than over food (and worries that do not concern life and death) :-)
ReplyDelete*anewday* yes, what you say makes sense and I will watch out for that. Meantime I can't wait for her to actually REACH her maintenance weight, and am concerned that she hasn't already relaxed too much in view of such a successful Maudsley visit last week.
*sexatoxbridge* Thank you. I award myself a third for not reading your post thoroughly (sorry) and clicking that your ED was (insofar as it is possible) in the past. Well done to you. And thank you for the offer of a friendly ear. You have been kind and generous on your blog to extend that invitation to all and I expect you might find yourself quite busy. You are clearly a lovely person.
I'm so glad to hear your daughter is recovering - EDs can be so horrible! I only came across this post because I googled a question about periods stopping at 47kg because of weight loss. (I don't have an eating disorder but have a stomach disorder caused by my medical condition which also happens to have the initials EDS. Anyway I would like to congratulate her on her progress - she's clearly a fighter and can get through this b***h of an ED. Even if she gets to 95%, that's still healthy if you're a naturally slim family - mine are too. I'm 166cm and never reached 100% though I used to eat like a bin! Continued best wishes along this difficult road to recovery, yous can do it! :)
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