Tuesday, 8 June 2010

The day after

The day after a Maudsley visit is always difficult for the Waif.  Initially, she used to have a day off school to recover, but that was not possible today as she has examinations.  Waif came into bed with us in the night, having had a nightmare about the Cumbria killings, or "the man with the shotgun" as she puts it.

Unwisely, I also chose today not to accompany her to school as I wanted to get to the gym (I have a triathlon in 3 weeks time and need to get some traning in and still have time for Mummy tasks and admin, like job applications (!) during the day so I got up at 6am to walk the dog, make packed lunches, find school shoes, protractors, compasses, cook breakfast and find my gym kit by 7.10am).  Unfortunately, at 6.30am, Waif discovered that she unexpectedly has a maths exam today that she had thought would be tomorrow, it then started to rain at 7.30am as she was setting off on her (mile and a half) walk to the busstop.  So I had a very tearful call on my mobile from her 200m from the house, whilst I was already a tube ride away.  I told her to go home and ask her father for a lift.  Then her key wouldn't work, and H wouldn't answer the door (he was shaving) and it was still raining (another tearful call).  It all worked out eventually but poor Waif was not in the best way this morning  :-(    

Yes, there is no doubt something in the 2 comments on yesterday's post.  I need to look again at Waif's perfectionist attitude.  The last thing I want to do is criticise her, especially for such a positive virtue in normal circumstances.  At least her new school is MUCH more relaxed than her old one.

I texted Waif mid morning to find out how her first exam went (she texts me over a dozen times a day usually) and she said "It was as I expected.  Most of them cheated."   :-o     She is funny.  She was unimpressed yesterday at the teacher who turned up late to start their exam thus ensuring that they missed break.  She will not forgive or forget lightly.  Shudder, I would not like to be that staff member at the next parents' evening, to which Waif will come along.  Also, her Head of Year has lost her history book....Waif is certain that she handed it in and then was away when they were handed back.

"But why would he say he didn't have it?" I asked her.

"He was too lazy to look" she retorted.

Sigh, I have no doubt she is right - her memory and organisation are faultless.  I also wouldn't like to be him either.

I predict one day Waif will be Prime Minister.


  1. Sorry, but this whole post made me shudder.

  2. sigh. I'm sorry, but I have to echo Jennifer's sentiments. I can recognise so much of my former self reflected here, and the rigid anorexic mentality is painfully obvious. Please seek help for Waif. I have no doubts she is an absolutely gorgeous girl, but the excessive dedication/meticulousness is a two-edged sword, and can ultimately destroy you. Take care, please. x

  3. The perfectionism. The excessive clinginess over you (constant texting, coming to your room at night). The hypersensitive, uptight attitude towards schoolwork and inability to just let go.
    I hesitate using these labels that make her sound like a case study, but unless such issues are addressed, how can she possibly have the freedom to be the amazing person she has the potential to be?

  4. Sigh, I know. But what is the best way to tackle it?

  5. If she isn't already going to a therapist or on medication, considering either of those options could help. My 11 year old cousin has severe OCD and he's on medication and sees a therapist, and he is doing SO much better. Not that Waif has OCD, but just as an example.
    Seeing a therapist weekly has helped me a lot in the past, it might take a while to find one who Waif feels comfortable with, but it is possible, and definitely worth it.

    I've been reading your blog for a while, you and your family are so strong, I'm so sorry for all the hardship y'all have been through.