Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Exam results

Waif has begun to get her exam results.  In biology (one of her only 2's for achievement) she came top of the whole year with 100% in a higher tier GCSE paper 2 years ahead of her actual GCSEs.  Yes, she over-revised. The psych had set her the task of doing badly in one of her GCSEs - for instance, Spanish or Latin both of which she is giving up.  She came third in the year for Latin and revised like mad for Spanish despite me trying to dissuade her - results should be tomorrow.

We have lately been having a little trouble with the journey to school:  Waif has not cycled for about 3 weeks as some children at the school told her that "only lesbians go on bikes" which she took to heart.  She is very concerned about being cool/ popular.  She has had her hair highlighted from quite blonde to very blonde and is now sporting a tan from Marbella at half-term and looks like the most feminine, fragile, beautiful girl you can imagine, and nothing like a lesbian!  She also dislikes the bus that she could take.  Apparently it is a very, ahem, lively bus-stop after school with all the boys and girls crowding to get on the bus.  Waif got pushed over in the tide as she was getting on the other day and is therefore nervous of that too.  I have suggested she wait for the next bus but actually her school is in quite a dodgy area and even I wouldn't like to be hanging around waiting for a bus on my own right there.  So I have been mainly driving her.  How will this fit in with my going back to work in the Autumn, I wonder.

Anyhow, Waif has announced that she does want to cycle tomorrow - perhaps she is more confident now that she is coming top in exams, and today came first in the year in sprint heats for Sports Day.  I used to be a runner (still do a bit) and am pleased that she is quick too.  It's a good sport to be talented in as you don't really have to practise.  Being a mixed school, there is always kudos associated with being an athlete.

Waif's last examination is tomorrow: her favourite subject, art.  They have been told to prepare at home on the subject of the Human Body.  Waif has had out books on physiology and has been faithfully copying out bone structures and musculature in a detailed way.  She has also photographed Older Daughter doing a high leap in ballet costume and has collaged a time lapse photography effect in black and white with tinges of colour on each image.  She has turned the combined image into a silhouette which she then made into a lino print.  Waif has also been copying out sketches of people in different poses in different media: inks, pencils, crayons, felt-tips.  She has probably spent a total of 40 hours preparing for her art exam tomorrow.  My only concern is that the final results are so exceptionally outstanding (I am entitled to be biased for I am her mother) that I have a horrible suspicion that the art teacher will wrongly assume that someone has done it all for her.  They have not.

If I can persuade Waif to send me copies digitally, I will show you some of her art work over the next few days.

Food:  hmmmm...despite being keen to be a proper weight by September, Waif will still not eat a morsel more than is on her meal plan.  Ho hum, she does at least eat everything that is on the list but there is definitely still a large element of control, and where there are options, the lower calorie choice is always favoured.  Hmmmmm...further to go.  With her french exchange coming at the start of the Summer holidays, I am going to face a difficult decision of whether or not to allow Waif to go away for 10 days.  Perhaps I need to be straight with the other mother and let her decide if she can cope and/or let me know if Waif is not eating and put her straight on a train home.  I don't want to let anorexia ruin her life.

Older Daughter's Friend has a mother who is a camerawoman.  ODF told me that her Mum helped make a video on anorexia for Beat where they filmed two identical twins, one of whom had had anorexia at 12.  She was a full head shorter than her healthy twin.  I may tell Waif about that tonight so that she is aware of what she is trying to avoid........


  1. Hello

    I have just found your blog and wanted to contact you but could not see an email so thought I would add a comment - apologies for the ridiculous length!

    Firstly congratualtions on being such an attentive involved mother in your daughters ED. Your posts are incredible. I developed anorexia at 13 and went into treatment (inpatient) at 15 and again at 18...I see so much of your daughter's behaviour just as mine was 14 years ago now - the extreme perfectionism, habits etc. I can't emphasise enough how vital it is to get your daughter to the healthiest weight possible - over a decade on an I have only recently fully regained my weight and have been left with spinal osteoporosis, full body osteopeania and no periods for many many years - I am not saying this to upset you but just to emphasis how this illness can be so destructive long term as well as short term - please please dont let your daughter think it wont happen to her - that's what I said till bone scans proved otherwise. I thought I was ok at a "just underweight" bodymass but the damage inside is massive.

    I wondered if you knew of the below website which is fantastic too - it is written by a lady whose daughter was treated with the same method you are using.
    The lady herself, Laura Collins, is a massive inspiration to me.
    This website is also good
    and this one by a girl who recovered on her own essentially

    I don't want to leave my email address on a public website but I will be following your posts and I hope I'll be able to offer advice when you need it. I wish you and your daughter so much happiness for the future. It's the hardest battle but I'm sure it will be won by you both.


  2. Anorexia Mummy22 June 2010 at 14:20

    Dear anon, thank you so much for taking the time and trouble to comment. It is for that kind of insight that I set up the blog. I told Waif that I had heard of someone who was "just underweight" but ended up having bone problems from it and it prompted her to have an extra milk drink that day. Those extras should all add up soon and are so very important. Thank you also for the links which I am exploring. I wish you all the best in your own personal journey. Love from Anorexia Mummy.

  3. I'm so pleased my story helped in a little way - if I can prevent one person getting osteoporosis at a young age it will be worth the battle. Whilst calcium is of course excellent it is a healthy weight and menstruation (I realise Waif may be a little young for this anyway at the moment) that is the real factor for healthy bones long term. But even so that is just so fantastic she had the extra drink - you are right it does all add up, small steps as my mum used to say! I'm sure you are a great support to her too, persistance and patience make all the difference.
    Wishing you both well and thank you for your best, x