Tuesday, 6 April 2010

The course begins

Yesterday, I drove Waif to Wiltshire for a night at my parents en route to her engineering course in Gloucestershire.  We were going to stop for lunch on the way down but when Waif discovered that there was to be a roast dinner at her grandparents, she only wanted a sandwich for lunch.  We identified a pretty village half way there and found this bar/cafe:

where Waif had a large ciabatta sandwich with salad, and I had a vegetable curry with rice.  I couldn't persuade Waif to order chips as a side order but, back in the car, she agreed to eat a packet of crisps and drink a juice to bulk up the meal.  Sigh, she is still watching what she eats. She also refused roast potatoes with her chicken in the evening although ate the crumble for pudding happily enough.

My father suffers from Alzheimers and there was an awkward moment when he told Waif off (and the rest of us) when he found Waif eating toast at 10pm in the kitchen.  We calmed him down, he doesn't understand.  He is tricky to mollify at the best of times. Whenever I take the girls there I feel guilty imposing such an atmosphere on them but OTOH know that my mother really appreciates our company.

Also on the way, we stopped at Stourhead:

Remarkably luckily, there was a special Easter Monday bell ringing session in the church and Waif had a go.  She also played the piano in Stourhead House to compliments all round.
Sigh, I realise that we also went for a small walk and that on Sunday I allowed Waif to have 20 minutes on a pedalo in Greenwich park.
Perhaps this means that I indeed don't take Waif's ED seriously :-(   My idea of leisure time does often  involve walks, boat trips (not often), swimming and riding....I have booked a hack or two for next week BUT I am prepared to cancel them if Waif has lost weight on her course.
I can't help believing that the ED should not prevent Waif from living a full life - life is short, and every day and every month counts and should be embraced.

Anyway, Waif is now staying on her course.  They eat supper at 6pm and then go bowling until 11pm!!!  I have stuffed money in Waif's pockets and told her to make sure she buys plenty of snacks.  I doubt she will. There will also be no chance for her to have her 2 cups of hot chocolate a day.  I hope that between now and Friday lunchtime she can't lose too much weight - she is really looking better at the moment; rosy cheeked and infused with a new energy since she has gained 10% of her bodyweight since just before Christmas.  If only she can get to 45kg by the summer then she will be able to go on her french exchange - time in Paris and in the family's country chateau which is stunning and set in acres and acres of rolling parkland.  Lucky girl!!  Something to aim at I hope.  Oh, Waif is also hoping to cycle to school next term which I will need to square with The Maudsley.  It's not too far, just 3 miles.


  1. Hope, I haven't left a comment in a long time, but I really wanted to drop by and say hello.

    I know it is probably not appropriate for me to say anything, as I am battling this awful illness your daughter has so unfairly developed, but I really wanted to tell you just how brave and strong you are.
    You are fighting; you remind me so much of my own mother, constantly fighting with the thing that's got a hold on me, trying to fight through it to see the real Eleanor, the one she loves.

    I see you doing that, and it breaks my heart knowing just how hard this is for you, the mother.
    Putting a little trust in K is a good idea, because it will allow you to see if she's able to do this for HER. I'm in that place at the moment and although I first struggled, I'm starting to get a hold of things now and I realize that there is only one way out, and that is up.

    You have ALL My support, and I send my love to you and to K.

    You really are an amazing person. Though K can't tell you that now, she will one day thank you for absolutely everything you have ever done for her.


  2. Oh, I meant Waif, not K!
    Sorry I get so confused.
    You know what I mean. ;)
    (It's early!)