Maudsley again

Waif came in at 40.8kg.  Whilst that is disappointingly not the 42kg target, it is nonetheless 400g more than last week - a pound in a week is not too bad.  I was so worried that Waif would not be allowed on her course.  So was Waif I reckon.  She was quite hysterically sad before we left for the appointment.  She said that she found the psych intimidating.  Waif made me promise not to tell the psych about her sadness and I did although I told Waif that it would be best to be open with the psych about everything as she is trying to help and it is difficult for her if Waif isn't open.

I suspect Waif was worried about not having gained weight - she was right as last week's reading was more like an average of 40.8kg if you ask me and so she has simply maintained this week.  That's okay though as it is consolidating an earlier gain.  She has put on nearly over 2.5kg since Christmas.  If she can keep that up then she will be nearly 44kg by the Summer which is still thin but much less frightening.

Anyway, when I explained that Waif's course was something for which she had had to supply a personal statement and references to attend and was an academic course not a jaunt, the psych agreed that Waif could go .  She said she didn't ever want Waif to feel like she was being punished. BUT she said that in future we would have to be consistent and stick to targets we set.  As Waif is on her course next week, and the whole family is in Somerset the week after (yay!!), our next appointment is not for nearly 3 weeks.  The psych said that if Waif had not put on weight (or very little) then that would be it - every meal would have to be supervised and all forms of sport would be banned (I confessed that I had taken Waif on a 90 minute cycle ride and a climb on Sunday, and that she often walks across our local park to meet friends etc).

As Waif and I disagreed over exactly how much she had eaten, the psych wants us to go back to having  a meal plan.  She opined that I was too soft on ED so, as it is the holidays and my husband will be with us, she wants him to keep the diary.  Waif was reluctant about the idea of doing it in Somerset as there will be friends and relations present but we assured her that it would be done in private in our bedroom.

Poor Waif was very tearful on our return home. She complained that the psych talks about her as if she is not there.  I pointed out that it was very difficult for the psych if she (Waif) refuses to say anything at all.

Waif did indeed wear her school uniform btw (her decision totally) together with various items of heavy jewellery that would never be allowed at school, maybe 300g in total, so we will have to make that much extra up for next time.

The bad mother part of me looks forward to Waif being away for 4 days as a break from the tyranny of mealtimes, even though obviously getting Waif better is my topmost priority in life at the moment.  I will miss her in many other ways.  She is a darling child.  Tonight, she put away all my grocery shopping.  She has phenomenal energy:  this morning must have been emotionally tiring and yet she still managed to walk across to Blackheath to meet a friend, go shopping in Lewisham, wrap Easter eggs, handprint Easter cards, put away the groceries, cook supper for the family and learn to play Kelly Clarkson's "because of you" on the piano.  She could easily have just sat and read a book all afternoon.