Monday, 8 February 2010

Maudsley Hospital again

Today is Monday so we are back to the Maudsley this afternoon.

I am very optimistic that Waif has put on some weight. Not much, mark you, but some. She looks less ill to me, and less startlingly skeletal. I hope it is not just that I am getting used to her thinness.

This is no magic cure: Waif is still ambivalent about weight gain - she still won't eat a morsel more than is on her menu list and always opts for the smallest/ least calorific option put before her even if I know she prefers the alternative. But as long as she is making progress I will be happy that she is reducing the chances of permanent damage to her body.

At some point we will have to tell her psychiatrist about Waif's worries being alone at home, andsleeping in her own bed at night. At 13 years old I fell that she should feel more secure in her own house.

Waif is not going in to school today. Older Daughter is not well and Waif thinks it will be "easier" for her not to go in. I am easy with that - the more Waif stays home, the more food I can supervise being eaten and in the end there is no point in her doing well in all her exams only, God forbid, to die of a heart attack at 23 or to find that she is unable to have a family if and when she wants one.

My husband has taken the day off work in order to come with us to the hospital, and Older Daughter might well come too so we would have a full house again. I am sure that the sessions are more helpful if we are all there together.


  1. Hello,my name is Jennifer and i live in Australia. I have been following your blog with interest,as i developed anorexia at 12 and finally became "well" 20 years later! And now,at 38,am in relapse once again. It is vital that you continue treatment seriously now,while Waif is at this age and stage of ED,as i know only too well,it will hang on to sufferers for a lifetime. I congratulate you on your efforts thus far. Much love,jennifer x

  2. Hi Jennifer, thanks for taking the trouble to comment.

    Yes, it was when Waif was 12 that she too first lost a lot of weight. I suspect you and she both are more aware of how you want to project yourselves and are similarly perfectionist (although sadly misinterpreting what it is to be perfect). Don't let yourself slip when you have been well for so long! I expect you have family that must be very worried for you and who deserve you to be well for them. Hang it, YOU deserve you to be well. Look at a BMI chart and NEVER allow yourself to fall below the normal weight range. Try not to even be near the bottom of that range. The intellectual part of your brain knows that you should be a healthy weight and why. Keep that in mind constantly. Concentrate instead on being healthy and happy. Best wishes, Hope.