Friday, 5 March 2010

Waif's diary

I have not been invading Waif's privacy but she has had a clear out and allowed me to read and keep (!!!) a short diary she began when she was 8 and kept for a day or two. It must have been March 2005. Here it is , complete with spelling errors, including the one of intelligent which had me hooting. You can't really have the full effect as she has done special writing and illustrations that I can't reproduce :-o

Hi, I'm Waif.
And this is a book all about ME! [picture of Waif]
Now let me tell you a few things about me. I'm beautiful, intellegent and absoloutly BRILLIANT!

Ok, so...about my family. I have one sister called OD she is 10. She can be sometimes nice. But she can sometimes be really - and I mean REALLY - anoying.

My Mum is called Hope. She is 40 years old. And I mean old. I don't see much of her because she is always at work (how BORING). And even if she is around I only get to play games with her once a week. She mostly does the cleaning and the washing.

My Dad is also at work most of the time apart from the weekends. He is called Horace. He is 39! When he was young he was called DumDum, how silly! But I can' blame him for not seeing me because he has got a really important job. And he is even in the book of best loyers. [Ed: that's lawyers not lovers]

I also have a dog - and before you say anything, he isn't just any old dog. No way. He is the BEST dog in the whole world. He's extremly BIG! [picture of the world]. I named him Muddy when I was three. Really he hates mud. I guess I did it because he is a muddy colour.

I have two kittens. Well kind of. One of them is my sister's.

Allthough of course my cat is much, much better than hers.

My cat's called Varjak and OD's cat is called Dizzi.

My cat is the most handsome cat in the whole wide world and Ellie's cat is ok but she does scratch a lot

[picture of the whole family and animals - all illustrations by Waif]

I also have an opair but she is only staying a few months and I'm not related ot her so she doesn't really count as family.

Write. Enough of family. Because my Mum (Hope) has been nagging me and OD about having our school bags too heavy. And then me and OD had an idea that instead of school bags we could bring rucksacks. But oh no. Mum wouldn't let us. And to make matters worse, OD's friend brings this really unsuitable rucksack to school. HOW UNFAIR!

TOday after school we went to Pizza hut for a celebration of OD getting into [her secondary school]. But Mum had forgotten about my boring piano lesson so I had to go there instead. But I guess she did make it up to me by giving me a crunchie and a peice of chocolate cake [pictures]

Have you noticed that mums are like servants? They drive you to your friends house, they clean your clothes, they cook for you. It's great. My Mum is the BEST ever! My Dad is brilliant as well.

My new opair is really nice. She likes playing games all day long with me! She is called Emma. She has recorded her very own songs ona CD. I think they are really good [picture of Emma}

Oh no, it's my Mum's birthday in a week and I haven't got her a presant! I haven't even made her a card.
It's worse then WORSE!

Then it ends. Sigh, perhaps little changes :-) She doesn't seem like a child with trauma, does she?


  1. i say this every time but this comment may be particularly harsh...

    in response to your last post -

    first the 10k race...
    this may not seem significant, but it actually really is. running the 10k race is guaranteed to trigger Waif. if you and H are running, she'll get really jealous and probably try to compensate for the 8k she hasnt ran.
    (personally, i dont think she should be allowed exercise at all)

    i dont know how her brain works exactly, but in an anorexics mind, she'll see that you're running, and therefore losing weight. youve run more than her, so you'll lost more weight than her.
    anorexics are very very competitive. i always used to compete with my mum, and i still do. whenever she says things about exercising or cutting down on food, it triggers me horribly.

    okay and SKIPPING MEALS?? you've gotta be kidding!!! i dont have words for this!

    Dude, seriously. what is more important? losing 4kg, or saving your daughter's life?
    put things in perspective!!

    i think, definitely, you should get help. skipping meals is irrational, an extremely dangerous thing to do, you could be very well starting on the road to your own eating disorder. and being around a daughter who's got one, i'm not surprised.

    please, PLEASE think about what you're doing! focus on your thoughts and actions, not just what waif does, because you could be putting yourself, and her in danger.

  2. Thankyou,katilexis, for saying what i was trying to say...and having the guts to say it bluntly!! I do agree completely. Jennifer.

  3. anorexia mummy8 March 2010 at 14:19

    Kartilexis and Jennifer, thank you. You have given me lots to consider - in fact, so much that my reply will take the form of a post rather than a small comment. I really appreciate your insights....they make the blogging worthwhile and valuable. You are both kind to take the time to comment :-)